My past few days have been very challenging for me. I keep playing it in my mind that I am first & fore most a "mother." No one & nothing will get in the way of that. With Kaen's 8th birthday coming up real soon this situation has left me here wondering what else could go wrong. I have decided to move forward & to not let anyone or anything get in the way of making my children's lives better. I have a huge plan ahead. A big goal I will one day achieve. This goal is the key to my children's future. Once I get all these plans on the right track I know things will be better for them. All this time I would sit and wonder what it would be like if things get better. But no more... I will not stop til it all gets better. Even when it gets better I'm going to keep on moving to make it even better. I want my kids to grow up knowing that I have made sacrifices all for their benefit. Happiness is another important thing I struggle with. Hopefully one day soon, I will be able to get over that phase & be my old self again. A lot of things have happened & I am not going to lie, I have started hating myself more and more each day. But that will go on no longer. I will not let anyone let me feel like I don't deserve the best or better.
I just want to say that "family" is a big part of my life. I have a little family of my own, but without my roots I don't know where I'd be today. Many of them help in so many ways you can't even imagine...& I can't thank them enough. They have helped me through times of struggle. When I need them the most they are always there. Thank you all for that! Not only do you help make it possible for me to better my children's lives but mine as well. Being blinded for so long made me think things can never get better. But now I know it can & it will.
<3 kishya~
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